Saturday, March 1, 2014

Thursday, February 27, 2014

The Key in my Hand

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I liked the font so much even though it's not easy to read.... here the text of the poem:

In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn,
the door is there and the key is in your hand.
Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

Yes, and what if I have so many keys in my hands, and so many doors in front of me???? :-)

Font Jellyka Vampire Street by Jellyka -
Textures by MightyDeals and my own
Brushes by

Tuesday, February 25, 2014


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Very funny sometimes - I had planned to take photos of my olf Chopin book to make some compositions.... and today we got offered the 'Vintage' deal from DesignCuts that contained quite a few textures that I was able to use here...

Chopin and Nepal, the two topics that have accompanied my life longer than any others, I think. And so I got this absolutely beautiful huge book about Chopin, the book is from 1965, but the photos in there are much older.... it's written in polish (which I can't read), but the photos are so absolutely beautiful that I feel it's a waste to have them locked away in a book.....

Photos taken from a book about Chopin from 1965 - "Chopin Na Obczyznie"
Textures by Design Cuts deal 20140226, also by MediaMilitia and MightyDeals
Brushes by

Sunday, February 23, 2014

In the Company of River and Mountains

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It seems as if I was living in a dream while being awake.... like a second life in parallel to the one I officially live/ There is such hugeness, endlessness, light and light and light. My two companions are always there too. There is no dream without them any more, not during the day and not during the night.

They find it easier to communicate...

Friday, February 21, 2014

Lost in Heaven

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It is so amazing how our beautiful pets can just drop and ponder, nap, sleep, be busy with themselves.
They know, heaven is everywhere. Heaven is where you make it.

I am learning this too.....

Thursday, February 20, 2014


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What's life all about???

P L A Y!


Tuesday, February 18, 2014


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I was contemplating the curiosity, excitement and innocence that I can watch in our pets as well as in little children.... wondering where that goes when we are getting older.

Everything seems to be magic, amazing   ... and then we're starting to 'know' things... we're starting to 'understand'.... and slowly the mystery disappears out of life.

Mystery is feeling the intensity of being alive - I can't remember who said that, but it feels true.

If I take nothing for granted, everything becomes magic... 

Thank you to J. and her parents for allowing me to add her beauty and curiosity to this composition. :-) 

Monday, February 17, 2014


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This was inspired by Photo Art workshop challenge 14 - a memory/diary entry... insight in the secret life of a child.

I don't think I have any memories like that, but while I was creating the composition, it was as if these memories came up.... very strange... something tickled my back, as if a spider was crawling all over me.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

My World

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I wish I was as proud and self confident as those cats are. So easy to see that they only expect the best - well, they don't even have an expectation that there could be anything less than the best.
They most certainly own this universe, and the next one as well :-)

Fun to watch.... and so much to learn ...

Thursday, February 13, 2014


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Pretty much every morning my cat, Kiril RussianBlue von Haxtendorf asks me for a walk through our garden, riding on my shoulder. His brother, Spirit, accompanies us for a while, walking besides me, just a bit behind.

If I walk too fast, he jumps off. If my thoughts stay in the office, he jumps off.
He requires me to be in the moment. To feel his weight, to hear his purr, to understand where he wants me to go to and where to stop to check something in details. He is very interested in leaves that are high up, in birds that are out of his reach, in the smell of certain flowers... not sure what else. He sees colours that are hidden to me, smells smells that I can't pick up.
He has such a lot of interest and is always in the moment, takes it all in.

Such a good role model, I very much enjoy my morning tea time with him.

The composition above was triggered by Challenge 19 of the Photo Art workshop (, and reminded me so much of our walks.

The leaf in the grass was very well analysed by both cats, several birds and myself. It was very clear that it did not plan to go anywhere, it had found its home.

Nature intended perfection.

Sunday, February 2, 2014


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(Vacivity = Emptiness -, has been used in the late 1600s)

This was inspired by Challenge 18 of the photo-art workshop ( - but also by my inner need for space, emptiness and freedom.

More and more I feel restrictions of rooms, of my own reach, of boundaries, borders.... life seems to have more restrictions than openness.... more boxes than spaces.

The ocean, the moon --- ah, there is infinity... emptiness....

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


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When looking through my photos, I can see that there is one topic that seems to be part of most of them, and that is 'light'.
Without actively looking, I would have thought that it is 'colour', but really, it isn't....

With this composition I tried to consciously create light effects that are created by invisible or impossible sources.... lots of fun.

But the funniest thing happened right on the day after I had completed this - I went into a shop that has a board with local events announcements, which I had never read before... this time I did... and found that a gallery just nearby has an exhibition called "Available Light, imagining more than we can see" - how's that for a coincidence. And that day was the last day of the event, sure, we went there... :-)

Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Granddad I Never Had

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The following series of compositions were created during a collaborative volley with an artist from the Photoshop Grunge workshop, Jim...
We had a fixed selection of photos, backgrounds, vectors etc available. Jim created the serve, and I started my composition starting on his., then he created his next composition based on mine, and so on till we had six compositions in total.

Creating my first volley was very challenging - so far all my compositions were based on how I felt on the day, being able to chose freely of all those photos in my huge photo library. Now I was confined to just a few photos and had to use another composition as a starting point, ohhhh....

Well, during that first volley, I created a few different compositions, then decided on one that I offered as my first serve. While waiting for Jim's serve, I continued playing with those photos and created another few compositions that I liked. While doing all of that, a bit of a (fantasy) story emerged ... both all my compositions and the story are below.

(The above was my first volley.)

How could I forget.....

You went.
To see the letter you once wrote to me... it seems to be a lifetime ago. 

I still have your cogwheels in my drawer, they were part of the heavy machinery you used of the farm, remember? 

You locked your secrets away, but left me the key.... wonder if I ever get to know you, now... now that you are gone.

(The above is one of those photos that I created during my first volley, based on Jim's serve)


You appeared to be a free spirit, but really - be honest - you had locked yourself in, you got yourself stuck. Trying to please, to be accepted, to be valued, to be important. 
You know you missed out on being free, even though it was only one step away.

Now you watch me...........

(The above is just a variation, but I quite like it as well :-)

(The above is also a version that I created during my first volley, and is also based on Jim's serve. It's not my favourite version, but has a place in this sequence)

Window of Opportunity                               

You always saw them... the windows of opportunity. When I was little, I didn't understand what you meant... back then. But now I can see you sitting there, seing the light at the end of the road... the light behind the closed door... and off you went to chase the next opportunity, the next excitement, the next story.

Now you are gone forever from this world ... wherever you are, you'll find more windows of opportunity.

(The above was also created during my first volley, but it is not based on Jim's serve)


Your love for tools and machinery was contagious. I can't remember one single day seeing you without making something, taking something apart or putting it together. Now - wouldn't you have loved to lift up our little house with a crane to move it to some other place...

(The above is my favourite of all. It was created after I had sent my first volley to Jim, while I was waiting for his next one. It has been created completely from scratch, but also only using the photos and other elements that we had restricted us to use.)

Conscious Moments.

There would have been a moment where you saw the sun. 

There would have been a moment, where you smelled a flower. 
There would have been a moment where you  felt the structure of wood and where you  noticed the texture of the rose... where you listened to the song inside... 
...where you were CONSCIOUS. 

(The above is my second volley, based on the composition that Jim returned after my first volley)

Ah, I never knew about her, you were hiding your true feelings so very well. Thank you for leaving your book behind for me to find, I feel so much closer now.... but really, I didn't enjoy feeling your sorrow over lost opportunity, losing the love of your life. I will remember the lesson it taught you.

(I was agonising so much over the colour for my second volley, took me a full day to decide on the cooler colour that I eventually went with - the above is just a copy, but using a warmer red as the background. I still don't know which one I like better....)

(The above is the inside part only - again just a copy of the above)

(The above is the third and last serve that I did - and I like it very much :-) - it is based on Jim's latest volley)

Looking back on a long long life.... so many regrets.... so many regrets.

(And here again - the above is the 'inside' only.... before I twisted some of its parts to sit differently :-)

And lastly, here the photos that we restricted ourselves to:

And the miscellaneous pieces:

Friday, December 20, 2013

So Free

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Freedom, freedom - such a big word. It's full meaning still escapes my brain, even though my heart totally 'knows'.

The butterfly sat on a tree quite a way away from the house one evening when I went on my walk through our garden, with Kiril the cat on my shoulder. It looked so peaceful and beautiful  that I asked it to wait for me till I got back with the camera.
It took me quite a while to get back, but the little fellow was still there, patiently waiting to become a model... He knew inside that he had the freedom to fly away...

he did't fly away when I approached him with my camera, just a few centimetres away from his wings, making click click click right in his ears. He moved his wings open and close.... I clicked and clicked... while all the time we both were aware that he could fly away any time he wished.


I got nearly 100 photos, some of them were nice and I kept them...

Freedom for me means firstly being  conscious of my choices. I can comply with rules or go against them, I can agree with people or not - if I am doing all I do with great consciousness - knowing why I act as I do - then I have gained a great feel of freedom...

And then.... ah, freedom is flying. Spreading out my wings and flying over the trees, the mountains, towards the ocean... flhing....

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


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We are talking so much about the misuse of power that the word has nearly become a 'negative'.

That doesn't need to be the case. I do feel very powerful in my ability to create my life, to create my experiences and my excitements.
I feel strong, able to change, able to take out my magic wand :-) and make things happen for myself.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013


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This was created for challenge 13... it  contains a photo of Paekakariki beach and one of a road in Arizona, on my way from Phoenix to Bryce Canyon. Driving while taking photos on an icy road down hill, ops.....

I do like the winter/summer colours, and I have wonderful memories of both places - they all came up in a bunch during the last few days while I worked on this composition. Quite emotional in a way - feeling a lot of freedom and joy of life both times, back then... and I was able to feel that again, while working on the composition.


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I resonated with the quote, not 100% but a lot.
It seems to me that more and more I can enjoy simple things, like listening to the birds and the trees and the wind.... and I feel very fulfilled and happy by just sitting without having to race around being active.

To think quietly act frankly talk gently.... yes, this too.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Reach for the Stars

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During the last few month I have been living so much fuller and richer experiences, every moment, every moment that it is just unbelievable. It feels as if there were no boundaries for me anywhere, as if I could do whatever I want and that not even the sky was the limit.

Off to Infinity and Beyond.... and reaching to the stars - these seem to be my new motto... Life is so good!

Thursday, December 12, 2013


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Cogwheels - Everything is connected.

I am reading and hearing about the upcoming issues of the US, pondering the implications for the world as such as well as us here, in small New Zealand....
Realising how much everything is connected, and how everything can turn out extremely well as extremely bad, probably both at the same time.

If you turn one of a connected line of cogwheels, all will have to get going - and so it is with the world.

Each activity, each decision (or indecision) is a cogwheel and somehow we all keep going, wow..... and even if things seem to go very bad for some and very good for others, we are all connected... we are all connected.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Above the Clouds

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These swan babies were just sooo cute, so innocent, so completely oblivious to the main road just beside them, all the cars slowing down to let them pass, all the cats and dogs and people wandering around.

They reminded me of being playful and innocent... being balanced and just in the moment.